At Least 700 Things You Could Buy Instead of the $700 Playstation5 Pro

This just about sums it up. Generated by me using imgflip.com 


       Sony’s newest home console system, the PS5 Pro, was announced back in September. It’s currently being advertised as an all-around better Playstation 5. And, from a hardware perspective, I’ll award Sony some points. The PS5 Pro claims an upgraded GPU, more advanced ray-tracing, and AI-powered image upscaling when compared with the regular PS5, as well as the ability to graphically upscale older PS4 and PS5 games. But Sony felt the need to upgrade something else along with the hardware. 

        The price. 

Now of course, a more advanced piece of hardware will come with a more ‘advanced’ cost. The Nintendo Switch Lite, for example, retails for $100 less than a regular Switch, and an OLED model retails for $50 more. But the PS5 was already $450 for a digital-only version, and $500 for one that could read actual discs. But the PS5 Pro is planned to retail for $700. And it doesn’t even have a disc drive, or the vertical stand required to actually prop the thing upright. My gripes with digitally downloaded games aside (a blog topic for another day), this means that the 700-dollar console cannot play any physical games you might already have in your game library, unless you also purchase the PS5 disc reader for an additional $80. And even if sales tax in your area is only 4%, that still puts the purchase of this console and (arguably-necessary) hardware at over $800. 


Who is paying that in this economy? Especially after the PS5 shortages that have dogged the console since its release in 2020. Many gamers have spent huge sums of money on recent next-gen consoles– I can’t imagine many would be willing to pay all over again for minor graphical upgrades.


In that spirit, here are 700 things you can buy instead of the $700 PS5 Pro (ignoring taxes, because who really has the time to calculate that?).


1-2: Two Nintendo Switch OLED Models: one for you and one for a friend! ($350x2)

13-23: Ten copies of Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. ($70x10)

24-25: Two Orchestra seats to Hamilton on Broadway (~$300x2)

26-34: Eight tickets to New York Comic-Con ($86x8)

35-39: One PS5 and three games ($500 + $60x3)

40-44: Four Year-long Fun Passes to Busch Gardens and Water Country USA ($146x4)

45: One of several Limited-Edition Fender Player Stratocaster guitars ($700)

46-162: 116 grande Starbucks drinks (~$6 x 116)

163-164: Two Assassin’s Creed Shadows Collectors sets… but why would you? ($280x2)

165: One Canon EOS Rebel T7 DSLR camera kit with two lenses and a carrying case ($600)

166-174: Eight sets of D&D dice carved from genuine precious gems (~$85x8)

175-176: Two Complete DVD Collections of the MCU, phases 1-3 ($246x2)

177-223: 46 copies of Stardew Valley for PC ($15x46)

224-576: 353 Wishes on hit mobile game Genshin Impact (approx $2/wish)

577-607: 30 months of Netflix Premium Subscription ($23x30)

608-629: 21 5-lb gummy bears, for 105 lbs of gummy bear total ($33x21)

630-665: 35 Gloss Bombs from Fenty Beauty ($21x35)

666-692: 26 bags of live ladybugs at 3,000 ladybugs per bag. 78,000 ladybugs total ($26x26)

693-700: Seven Micro Kickboard 2-Wheeled Foldable scooters ($100x7)


And if none of those are appealing, you could always buy 707 Arizona Iced Teas ($0.99x707).

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